Vince Tan

this is the most worse blog that i think i will type in..
i made a huge and careless mistake today..
this is the mistaken that no one will do it in their life...

as first, i tot a was a kind of joke that made from my friend but IT WAS NOT!!
i was shocked at that few second and my tear was starting flowing from my eyes...
the next thing in my mind was had to make a call with my senior...
asked her is tat any solution to settle my mistaken...

she told me that maybe make a call through the person who responsible will be better..
the person who received my call was a very nice person..
she tough me what should i do to settle it！！！
but the worse thing that make me collapse was i cant finish my dream!!!

she said there are two choice for me..
one is i can settle it in a easier way,
two is i have to repeat the same thing in my third years...AND CANT GRADUATE
when i put down my phone....
i cant control myself...my mind was float a lot of scary pictures...

i cant finish my dream, my dad will disappointed with me,
and he will kill me when he know that i cant do it...
my tear keep flowing and flowing....i called my friend
she keep comfort me it wouldn't be that kind of worse...

if i cant get what i want...she will help me to fight until the end!!
thousand of thank you to her...XIN..
After that, i start to complete my mission..stop crying!!
i done everything that the person who told me..
and I'm ready to fight with it..

people will learn from their mistaken,
very mistaken will have different implicit,
i learned a lot of thing from this mistake while it need a huge sacrifice,
I'm not scare of it just i cant believe myself that i have done such thing in my life..

i need time to help me pass through..
it was the most terrible and scary nightmare for me in my life....
i do a lot of effort and hardworking for it..
i even didn't try to think playing and relaxing!!
i do everything as well as i could...
but..............

I CANT MAKE IT...
i so wish i may restart everything again..but it cant and impossible...
all my hopes..effort...hard time....
GONE...just disappear and gently pass away..
all is my fault...i cant blame any thing any one or others...

now the only thing i can do is...
do everything that the person told me..
and just wait for the result that set from the destiny..

from now on..i even don scare for anything..
i will face it possibly and try all my best..
i think i would have the worse and mood less Chinese new year in my life..
i tried to cheer up and become the "normal" me but i cant...

there will always have an unrecoverable wound in my life....
i cant remove it and it will follow me forever and ever until i die...
i thought i was tough enough to settle it or face it but i was not!!
it's more hardest than i thought..i lose myself!!!
and i lose my confident....I'm the most stupid person and careless person in the world..

i will accept it but i need time..i will change it.
from now on, my heart and my mind will have an unclear able stain..
but anyway...at here,...thousand of thank you for those people who always beside and supported me!!!

thank you so much for your care and comfort!!
it means a lot for me..
although is just a single word but it gave me a warm and Refueling my looseness..
thank you so much...
especially..jia hui, wai hsun and catherine!!!
i really appreciate what u have done to me!!

and M1 course mate...thank you for accompany today...
it really make me felt better...
and also my G & G....